I have always been stubborn and adventurous - those were my two traits that could instantly describe me. I was worse when I was in my 10-13th years. And though I'm not proud of it I used to dream of the day I could be on my own, make my own decisions, wear my own clothes MY way, date, party, etc. Typical 13 yr. old I guess.
Well back when I was about 13ish, I was with my Mom headed into town earrrrrrly one morning. We had the radio on 89.1 FM and were listening to a christian talk show featuring a couple named Ludy. At first I was just focused on the trees passing by out the window and trying to catch a little nap before we got to town. But then I started listening to the couple talk about purity, how they met and fell in love. I half-listened for awhile but got more and more interested so I finally opened my eyes and sat up and really listened. I admit that I have been and still am to some degree, a tomboy. But what girl doesn't like a little romance? The way the Ludy couple, Eric and Leslie, talked to each other and told about how they met and found out each other was "the one" was just so romantic and fascinating! I couldn't help but listen and not want the show to end.
Anyway, they talked about how they behaved and kept themselves pure even before they met each other. I can’t remember everything that they said now but I just remember how amazed I was. They talked about how they wanted to give whoever they married their whole self and not a broken heart or a used body. The kept their mind, soul, and body pure for the one they would marry. They even wrote each other love letters! They wrote to someone who they had no idea would receive those letters. Actually I can't remember if they both did or it was just Leslie.... But anyway, after they were married they gave the letters to the receiver they were meant for. When they wrote those letters they had no idea who they were writing to. And once they were married and found out who the receiver was, the letters were perfect. I thought that was silly at first but now I think it's pretty cool!
It was then that I decided that with all my power I’d keep myself pure and unblemished for my future husband. I’d wait for him. However long it took. Though a painful thought ---> if I never do get married I’ll have kept myself pure and untouched for the One who really matters.
All girls want to be admired and feel attractive. Even the worst tomboy has that girlish instinct somewhere deep down. And as girls we can be admired for many things: attitudes, personalities, kindness, compassion, gentleness, etc. You get the idea. Another few things can make us attractive, especially to the people we most want to be attractive to: guys. We can be attractive with pretty faces, figures and forms. And the world seems to think that those last few things are more important than the former traits I mentioned. And the world also seems to think that the more you reveal of your body, the more attractive you are. NO! Proverbs 31:30-31 says: “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears Yahweh, she shall be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates.” So if you’re young and pretty and attractive, and you’re vain of your beauty you might be admired for a few years, maybe even many years. But people will begin to see through your fake charm and your beauty will slowly fade away. And what will be left? A haggard, nasty old woman. That NO one likes. And what you did in your youth will be returned to you. So if all you did was flit around from guy to guy and waste your time being a flirt, when you’re old you will have nothing but sad memories. And most likely a broken heart from the man who you thought loved you but he was only infatuated with your beauty and when that faded…he did too. Any man that marries you only for your looks is no man at all.
Yet, as a young woman who fears God, no matter how you look, if your main focus is to serve and please Him, then you will have no worries. When you’re old and worn out, you will have so many people who will return the good and the love you gave them when you were younger. And most likely, you’ll have a loyal man growing old with you. Loving you for who you are, not who you were or what you looked like.
I don’t know about the rest of you girls but so many times I’ve come close to tears when thinking about how unattractive I seem. I would sit and long for someone besides a girlfriend of mine or family to tell me I was beautiful. For someone to say I looked great and not just that “God thinks I’m beautiful.” Yes, I know He does but everyone wants someone in this world to think of them as truly beautiful. But then, after I’ve been depressed long enough, I lift my chin and remember that if someone doesn’t like me for who I am then I don’t need to long for their approval. I am who I am and I don't need to change just to impress someone. If I do end up marrying someone, he needs to love me for my own personality, temperament and my own self.
What I’m trying to say is that if you walk through the mall in skimpy clothes revealing to everyone what your figure looks like yes, you will most likely get several glances from the guys and feel attractive. But what kind of guys are you attracting? The ones that once they have their fun with you they're off to another. But if you walk through the mall in your long skirt and loose blouse the “play-off” guys won’t bother you. But you’ll intrigue Godly young men who are interested in you. Not just your figure. They will be attracted to you because you’re keeping yourself to yourself. And as those boys get to know you and you get to know them, the right one will step out sooner or later. And guess why he’ll love you? He’ll love you for being you. Not for your figure. And then, once you are married he’ll appreciate you keeping yourself covered and no one else in the world knowing what you look like except him. If you’re the girl in the skimpy clothes you’re showing everyone what you’ve got and there is no surprise for your husband. If you get one.
I met a very interesting older lady in Goodwill a few weeks ago. My mom and sisters were helping me to pick out a party dress for a birthday party I was going to that Saturday. Our only trouble was finding something pretty and trendy, yet still modest and covering. So as we went through the dresses my mom pulls out this pretty dress and asks what I think. Honestly, it looked like an older lady’s Sunday dress from the 90’s. So I wrinkled my nose and said, “Nah, it looks too old ladyish.” Then all of the sudden this lady that had been browsing nearby popped over and gasped in an over-exaggerated tone, “Oh my goodness! Did she just say what I think she said? Old ladyish??? Why I never! And here I was about to ask her opinion on this frock. Wait, she probably doesn’t even know what a frock is. It’s an old lady word.” Mom and I couldn’t stop giggling. The lady was just teasing, I knew. And I instantly liked her. As we continued to browse the store we ran into her more than once and she never let that “old ladyish outfit” go! Haha it was too funny. Well we all ended up checking out and walking out into the parking lot together. We explained about looking for a modest party dress and the lady totally understood. We got on the subject of modesty. She told us how hard it was to find clothes for her granddaughters because everything was too tight, too short, too low, too seductive, etc. Even for little girls! We don’t often just run into people who have our same views and it was so refreshing to agree with everything she said. Finally we reached the point of separating to go to our separate cars. The lady bent down to talk to the twins and also looked up to make sure I was listening. She said she was going to tell us something in case we didn’t listen to our mother. This is what she said:
“You know how you like to get presents all wrapped up and secret? You have no idea what’s in there. It’s so exciting to open it and see what’s inside for the first time right? It’s no fun if you already know what’s inside when you open it. That’s how your body should be. Wrap it up good so the boys don’t know what’s inside. You only get one chance to unwrap it. When you get married your husband will be so excited to be the first to open the present, and excited at having no clue what’s inside. Remember, keep it all wrapped up.”
I thought it was the PERFECT analogy. I really liked her. What she said was soooo true! So I want to beg of my friends and other girls who struggle with modesty and feeling attractive. When you pick out a dress with a low v-neck…or skin tight jeans that show your form…or a dress that comes above your knees revealing your legs…think about if you’re unwrapping yourself too much. Will there be anything left for the gift receiver? Will he be surprised? Or if he happens to be there that day you wear a particular dress what will he be attracted to? Your figure? Your legs? Or will he be focused on your face and what’s inside that makes you so beautiful? Think hard about the next outfit you wear. Guys can’t help what they’re attracted to. Yes, they can use some self control and try not to lust, but we can make it so much easier for them if we cover it up! And you may be thinking that I’m no one to talk about it. I admit some things I wear may or may not be what you personally would wear. But I always try my best to stay wrapped up. I want to be attractive but I don’t want to reveal anything that needs to stay wrapped. It’s not my time to bloom yet. But if you’re getting down and depressed – like I’ve been so many times before – and thinking that being modest means you’re not attractive stop and really think. Who would you be attracting with a revealing clothes on? A play-off guy. Who will you attract wearing your modest clothing? The man you will love you for you, share the same interests and probably the same beliefs. And those who think you’re weird to dress that way, forget them. They don’t matter. You don’t want them around you with that attitude anyway. Believe me, you’ll catch more eyes dressing UNLIKE the world than you will trying to blend in. So remember girls, keep it wrapped up ;)
I hope this blog post encouraged you. If so let me know! Comment and share your thoughts! J
